When Life Gets In The Way

Has life got in your way?

Isn’t the incredible variety of life a wonderful thing? Don’t you find it amazing that what fascinates one person to the point of distraction, another can totally do without? We all have our favourite projects and interests we are keen to be making headway with, but have you ever found that, just at the most crucial point, when you want nothing more than to get stuck right in to what delights you, events conspire, things happen, and life gets in the way?

Perhaps you are a gardener, and love to have your outdoor space looking ‘just so’. Oh, to sit luxuriating in the sunshine in your own private idyll, one that you created! What joy that must give you! Maybe you are a creative person, an artist, and your craft is your passion, a compulsion that cannot be stifled or ignored. Or, possibly, like me, you are a writer, and the stories that live rent-free and vivid in your head are demanding to be released, to have the breath of life infused in them as they are set triumphantly down on paper.

So, what do you do? You make a plan, set aside the needed time, even going as far as giving yourself a strict deadline to help you achieve your wishes, but then..? Yup. You guessed it:

Life gets in the way

Let me relate to you a little personal example. I’m closing in on writing the final chapters of my fifth novel, and I cannot tell you how thrilled I am about this! To proudly place ‘Scarecrow’ on my bookshelf next to the other four books I have written, designed, and published (available on amazon) is my most burning ambition of the moment. I’ve been working hard on this novel for eleven months, and the finish line is well in sight. In fact, it is within reach. If I stretch far enough, I think I can touch it…

But woe is me! The deadline I so confidently set myself is now well in my rear-view mirror, and this beloved project remains as incomplete as a beautiful ballgown with its seams unstitched – loose threads dangling all over. Why?

Life got in the way.

Why not finish on time?

I can’t argue with it. This is a good question. I so wanted to have this book complete so that I could go on (rubbing my hands with glee) to do what I absolutely adore – the final edit and proof read. Oh, that delicious moment when I know my manuscript is spotlessly clean, all the pesky plot holes filled in, the characters rich, rounded, and ready to be met by people other than me!

But, as all too often happens, I failed to meet my own expectations. Why? What happened?

Life got in the way. Unforeseen emotional stress got the mastery over me at the worst possible moment, then lingered far longer than I anticipated, or wished. On top of that, or rather, in conjunction with it, I received an employment opportunity out of the blue that I couldn’t pass up on, which necessarily ate up valuable time and energy. Commitments to clients and employers alike are vital. I don’t mess around with them. And then? Ah, happy days! I went on holiday.

Making new plans

I pride myself on being a fairly flexible person, so I adjusted. I made plans to work through my lovely holiday in France, and still (just!) reach my deadline. It was only my husband and me in a quiet, peaceful resort. I honestly thought I would finish my novel right there in the tranquility of the French woodlands. I’d have a glass of merlot to hand as I typed those magical words – ‘The End’.

I have written on holiday before, and thoroughly enjoyed the experience, so it ought to have worked out well. But the instant I arrived at our destination, both mind and body slumped into a state of pure, blissful relaxation. The result? My laptop took a long snooze in a cupboard of our room as I soaked up the sun by the pool. And I didn’t skimp on the merlot. In case you were wondering.

Is failure always failure?

I know, I know, this sounds like a strange question. But hear me out, because it’s a valid one. Yes, it’s an undeniable fact that I failed to meet my own expectations. I failed to meet my own deadline. That said, did I really fail?

Not a bit of it. I have spent long months working hard on that book, alongside fulfilling all of my other concerns and commitments, and whilst there is a nagging inclination to feel that I have somehow ‘let myself down’ by not completing ‘Scarecrow’ by a certain date, I know that I haven’t. All my work, – every word, each punctuation mark, the sum of all the intricacies of the interwoven story-lines – is still there, waiting for me in quiet serenity. It has more patience, it seems, than I!

When life got in my way and threw unexpected obstacles in my path, I stumbled over them and fell, yes. But this was temporary, even, dare I say it, beneficial. It became clear that I needed a break; I had to relax and unwind, and there is no shame in that. Recharging the batteries is necessary! Refreshing both body and mind is a vital part of the process of reinvigorating creative purpose.

When life gets in the way, go round!

So, holiday over, it’s time to move on. Time to gear up for that final push. My work commitments remain the same, my family responsibilities haven’t gotten any lighter, but I think I can say with relief that my attitude has improved no end from allowing myself some sun-doused days to rest and recoup.

Now it’s time to get up off the mat, make new plans, set fresh deadlines. I refuse to let all the work and effort, the research, crafting, yes, even the tears that have gone into writing ‘Scarecrow’ go to waste because of one little stumble. I can feel the itch to continue writing my lovely book tingle in my fingertips even as I type…

And then… ah, then!

Editing is everything

Then I get to indulge myself in that final edit. Then I get to spend many wonderful hours lost in my story, lost in time, as I slowly scan the pages for those annoying little errors that will sneak in no matter how cleanly we try to write!

Oh, happy me, I get to rearrange, polish, clean, and shine, until the whole thing is practically glowing, ready for the magical process of publication.

I get to design my book cover, working on it until it thrills me just to set eyes on it, then unite both manuscript and cover to become one being, a whole, a delightful, blessed unit. And, not long after that, a box will be delivered to me. From its depths I will draw the finished creation, then breathe a blissful sigh of satisfaction as I place ‘Scarecrow’ triumphantly alongside its brethren on my bookshelf.

The End, indeed.

The takeaway point

So don’t stress too hard if you find yourself in a similar situation. If the vital components of your life are clinging together, you are doing well! OK, the garden may be looking a little woolly around the edges right now, but it’s not going anywhere. When you have time and energy to spare, you can roll up your sleeves and get back at it! And your painting might not be quite complete, but one day it will be, a brushstroke at a time. What an achievement! Our personal passions and pleasures are important to hold on to, because they enrich and enhance the pattern of daily life. So please, don’t give up, don’t throw in the towel, and most of all, don’t forget to enjoy the process!